Mission: Making friends as an adult in a new city

Result? Success!

After taking a few days, I’m back and ready to resume my diary entries! Thanks to everyone who left suggestions on my last post. I know what I’ll do moving forward, but I won’t share the plan since oversharing led to the problem in the first place 😆. But this newsletter is mostly staying the same! What will change is how I interact with people outside of this space.

Anywho, I made it my mission to go out and make friends despite my anxiety, and…mission accomplished! Kind of, ha.

There are ways I’ve failed, for sure, but I’ve managed to meet (and reconnect with) some awesome people in Atlanta. Just as a reminder, here are the approaches I said I’d try:

• Reaching out to people I already know.

• Going to events solo.

• Utilizing social media.

• Dating apps.

And here’s how each one went!

• Reaching out to people I know was kind of a bust. Out of the four people I reached out to, only one was willing to connect with me and hang out in person. The others just kind of awkwardly fizzled out 😆. But I didn’t take it personally. Sometimes we’re excited to get closer to others, but that doesn’t mean it’s always equally reciprocated. And that’s okay! I’ve also been on the other end of hesitancy (or disinterest) to connect with a person I wasn’t already close to, so I get it. The friend I did manage to reconnect with came out, and we had a timmmmmme!

• When it comes to going to events solo…I came, I saw, got anxious, and left. No one spoke to me when I went out. Probably because I looked tense, nervous, and closed off. When I went to events with a friend who came to visit me, I met so many people. I suppose it’s easier to approach (and be approached) when part of a group.

• I didn’t meet anyone from social media.

• Dating apps…This was the winner!

  • I met a new friend from Bumble BFF, and I adore her already! We’re both writers, both talk about feelings, and we both love perusing Korean grocery stores. We had our first friend-date, and she’s the best!

  • Another girl I matched with on Bumble BFF is hosting an in-person book club! Our first meeting is this month, and I can’t WAIT.

  • Other dating apps (Hinge) were frustrating because it just felt like aimless chatting. But I did randomly run into someone I’d matched with while out with friends, and they ended up being much cooler and more talkative in person. We’re going to boxing class together!

I’ll probably delete Hinge and pour all my friend-making energy into Bumble BFF. My unsolicited advice is to focus on the interests you have in common (like writing or book clubs), and after chatting for a little, take the initiative and make plans to meet (in a public setting). Once you meet in person, it’s like you’re folded into their eco-system, and eventually, you’ll meet more and more people in their circle.

I went from walking around Target alone for fun when I first moved here to checking out new restaurants with new friends, gushing about nerdy stuff with new people, and joining a book club. I know I’m writing all this out like I’m some sort of alien studying human friend-making and…I am! LOL

Anywho, as a reminder…I’ll be at NYCC in two weeks!

Come by my booth, where I’ll be serving “strange drinks and even stranger fiction”! There’ll be signed hardcovers, paperbacks, bookmarks, and more on sale. I’ll also be accompanied by Victoria from Sailor Moon Fan Club! Come say hi to us if you’ll be there!

Also remember…I’m awkward af. Haha!

Things you should know!

• How to Be a Better Adult’s audiobook is finally available! Check it out here.

• Follow me on Pinterest for pretty inspiration.

• I manifested the heck out of my September!!! I’ll share more when I can!

• I was sent this photo of a book club reading my book together and cried my eyes out LOL

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Listen to my girly podcast!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life

Read my nerdy self-help book!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life

Follow me on Instagram!: @ Jacqueaye