Making friends as an adult?

This is actually hard 😅

When it comes to building friendships as an adult, I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum. There have been traumatic attempts, but I’ve also made friends who have stuck by me for years and years and years. We met in class, in Facebook groups, at events, and through business. We’ve been through crazy nights out, heartbreak, and harrowing experiences. We’ve met each other’s families, slept on each other’s couches, and…well, you get it!

As someone who finds it hard to connect with others, having a handful of friends who accept my sensitivity, weird quirks, and ever-changing hyper-fixations is definitely a blessing. And now that I’m in a new city, I’m ready to make new connections! But…I’m now more awkward and anxious than I’ve ever been. Because of the bad experiences I’ve had, I’m less starry-eyed and open to connection, and yet I need connection.

So, here are some approaches I’m taking this week to hopefully make some friends!

• Reaching out to people I already know. This one seems like a no-brainer, but for some reason, it’s so hard for me to reach out to people I’m already familiar with. Maybe I’m afraid of friend rejection. 😅 I’ll be pushing myself to try this week!

• Going to events solo. Another nerve-wracking activity I’ll be trying this week. I used to go out alone, but as my anxiety overtook my being, I couldn’t seem to muster up the courage to walk into an event alone and stay there. I hope I make it out of the car 😆.

• Utilizing social media. THIS makes me the most nervous. Although I met many of my friends online, social media feels different these days. I want genuine friendships and connections, and sometimes, it feels like I’m being measured by the amount of “clout” I bring to the table. I’ll still try, though.

• Dating apps. Social media has changed, and so have dating apps. People seem to be looking for fast-passes to physical intimacy or someone to text around the clock without actually meeting. In order to weed those people out, I made it clear on my profile that I’m looking for a tour guide. I just want someone to accompany me to Target while debating about cartoons, LOL. We’ll see how that goes.

Finding people to hang out with will be the first battle, but the real war comes with small talk and keeping in touch. I’m painfully awkward when it comes to chit-chatting. It physically pains me. I don’t know why. But since I know how I can get, here are some conversational prompts I’ll be using that may be helpful for you, too!

• How long have you lived here?

• If you could pick one actor to play you in a biopic, who would it be?

• If you could plan your own music fest, who would be the opener and closer?

• What’s the last movie you really enjoyed?

• What’s the most obscure cartoon you remember watching?

• Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever traveled to?

• Do you like Tyler the Creator? 👁️

• What would you say is the nerdiest thing about yourself?

• If you were to create a supervillain team, who would be on the roster? And why?

• I love your _______ where did you get it?

• What’s your fave restaurant around here? We should check it out!

I try to avoid asking, “What do you do?” because I generally hate talking about what I do. It makes me shake, ha. I also avoid asking about things like family and relationships because they can be private, sore subjects.

Some ATL-based readers have reached out to me, and I appreciate it so much! I have seen the messages. It crossed my mind to plan another Awkward Brunch. But then I remembered the panic attack I had afterward. Maybe one of these days I’ll push through and make something happen!

Any tips for meeting new people? Drop suggestions below!

Things you should know!

How to Be a Better Adult’s audiobook is finally available! Check it out here. How to Escape Death [How to Be a Better Adult’s sequel] will be coming off sale this week! After that, it’ll go back up to its original price.

The Weird Book Club is hosting a B&N gift card giveaway! There’s still time to join and start reading. We’re one member away from 200!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Listen to my girly podcast!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life

Read my nerdy self-help book!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life

Follow me on Instagram!: @ Jacqueaye