Power Rangers SPD & giving yourself grace as you grow
And other updates!
Prefacing this post by saying it is very hard for me to write today. I’ll give a health update near the end, but just in case it doesn’t read the same as usual…that is why 😆.
Lately, revisiting media from my childhood has been my way of coping with the weirdness of the world. First, my Book Club read Coraline, and now I’m re-watching Power Rangers SPD as a comfort while I continue healing. I know you may be wondering, “Why SPD of all the Power Ranger iterations?” and my answer is simple: I’m incredibly biased, as Jack is my favorite Red Ranger.
If you don’t know anything about Power Rangers, no matter the theme or the season, the Red Ranger is always the leader of the group. The tactical genius. The person the other Rangers look to to be a guiding force. And they usually don’t look like me. But seeing a Black Red Ranger with locs left me with stars in my eyes as a youngin’.
Not only did I see myself in Jack’s appearance but also his personality. He was forgetful. Sometimes, a bit cowardly. Other times, unsure of himself. And a little bit childish. Traits I could relate to then and still relate to now. Just like Sailor Moon, Jack was my imperfect hero, and I wanted nothing more than to see him win.
Throughout the series, Jack defies the odds. When he’s appointed Red Ranger, no one believes him to be worthy. And, to be fair, he isn’t. He’s a poor leader who bounces between neglecting his duties and being too heavy-handed with his commands. He’s selfish and doesn’t know how to work on a team. But over time, he’s given the space and grace to learn. With each mission, he bonds with the other rangers and learns what it really means to wear that red “1” on his chest. Eventually, Jack leaves his post as the Red Ranger to work in a charity shop. A bold move, but he gave up the glory of being a ranger to follow his heart.
Re-watching Jack’s journey reminds me that it’s okay to make mistakes and fumble as you grow as long as you’re willing to learn and keep trying. Seeing how the other Rangers allow him to evolve despite his hiccups, is a lesson in surrounding yourself with people who see you for who you are under all the blunders. People who are willing to hold you as you stand to your feet and help you dust yourself off. It’s also okay to change. Change careers. Change your lifestyle. Change your habits and beliefs. And give yourself grace as you grow.
Health Updates & Such
I’ve been thinking if I shared “too much” about what’s happening to me. And then I got this newsletter in my inbox. In the linked essay, author Brandon Taylor shares his struggles with diabetes, Ozempic, and weight loss. While I don’t have diabetes, I read, loved, and hung onto every WORD. Brandon’s rawness and openness with his feelings validated what I do here. I guess we all need that sometimes.
In the spirit of Brandon Taylor, I shall share updates about my newfound issues with my health.
I last wrote that I hoped to be healed by Valentine’s Day. That didn’t happen. I spent Valentine’s Day stuck in bed, but I was able to reschedule and modify my plans to suit my new, hopefully temporary, reality. While I’m not suffering as much as I was in January, things are still pretty bad. As I’m typing, my left hand is tingling and feels slightly numb. Looking at the words on the computer screen makes me nauseous. I’m dizzy every second of the day. And the rare times I do stand and move around, my heart rate shoots up to anything from 130 to 160 beats per minute in seconds. So I spend most of the day in bed—where my heart rate is still high. I also have a persistent headache that’s always lurking, waiting to strike at random.
Despite these annoying symptoms, I’ve gotten out a few times. To grocery shop, to go on a date….and I pay for it greatly. Catching my breath in public bathrooms, rushing to sit on any seat I can find. Sleeping for twelve hours the next day.
I was prescribed a beta blocker to manage my racing heart, and the first few days were heavenly. I walked down a street!! I even danced a little 😭 But this bliss was fleeting as the drug plummeted my blood pressure, and I was told to stop taking it. So, back to the heart racing. I found a little relief for my headaches with Ibuprofen for migraines, but you’re not supposed to take it more than ten times per month…I need it every day. So, I just stopped taking it.
I’m the queen of research, so I’ve been looking things up as I wait for follow-ups and further testing. I’m hoping that I can naturally treat myself…or at least manage my symptoms with holistic approaches. No matter what, though, I’m still convinced this is a temporary setback and that one day, very soon, I will wake up and feel 100% again! If I can wake up one morning with weird symptoms…I know the opposite can and will happen!
Thank you
Thank you to those of you who upgraded your subscriptions in the last few weeks! Next week, I’ll try to continue Queen of the Blah for you guys. Also, thank you to anyone who shared and downloaded How to Be a Better Adult. It’s still free! All I ask during this time is to please keep sharing my book, posting about it, and letting people know about it. I was hoping to have moved on to my other books by now. But since I’ve been slowed down and this is what I’ve got at the moment, I still want to give it my all promotion-wise.
Some positivity!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Listen to my girly podcast!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life
Read my nerdy self-help book!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life
Follow me on Instagram!: @ Jacqueaye
Like the others who have already commented, I also think you should ask your doctor to test you for POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). Specifically, the subtype Hyperadrenergic POTS. There has been an increase in POTS due to COVID. I first learned about it from this Washington Post article. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/02/27/pots-heart-fainting-long-covid. I hope you're able to find answers to what's going on! And if it is a chronic illness, know that you aren't alone!
Did your provider recommend other types of cardiac medications such as calcium channel blocker? Certain cardiac medications don’t work well for African American patients. Have you tried Excedrin for your headaches? It’ll take time but you’ll get to where you want to be! I hope you start feeling better soon!