It's my birthday!
Life lessons I've learned this year ✨
Hey Sad Girlies!
Today’s my birthday, yayy! Considering I didn’t think I’d get here two years ago? I’m feeling pretty hype. While I won’t share how I’m celebrating (it’s a secrettttt), I will share some life lessons I’ve learned this year. Hoping they speak to someone out there!
#1. Do what you want!
At the top of the year, I wrote this:
I want to write and travel and live in the wind. I want to avoid the MACHINE™ as much as I possibly can…I want to curate spaces for others like me, to scream into the void to others like them. A greenhouse for wilted flowers.
After I typed my flurry of words, I realized just how simple my desire was. Why was I pressuring myself to be more than what I wanted, and letting outside voices determine my worth?
I did end up writing and traveling and living in the wind. Well, I continued to. And I managed to avoid the MACHINE™ entirely. It took a lot of sacrifice, though. When it comes to curating spaces for others, I opened up this space for other voices, and I’ve learned so much from you all.
Moving forward, I hope to continue doing what I want while drowning out society’s imaginary capitalistic pressures.
#2. Care and confusion should not co-exist.
When someone cares about how you feel, they don’t go hot and cold. They don’t neg or jab or mock you. They don’t try to orchestrate weird shit behind your back. They communicate with you. Even when it’s awkward. Even at the risk of a misunderstanding. This is a major lesson I’ve learned this year.
If you’re dealing with any kind of relationship, platonic or otherwise, and you feel constantly confused…that’s a sign you should focus your attention on healthier connections.
#3. Hand bullies their shame BACK.
When you find yourself in an environment where you’ve been chosen as the group’s whipping boy, the best thing you can do is hand them their shame back.
Someone’s spreading rumors about you? Ask them about it. Directly. They’ll feel flustered and stupid when they can’t justify it.
Someone’s covertly poking at you? Don’t suffer in silence. Bring it up in front of others. Now the embarrassment is shared.
Someone keeps making backhanded comments about you? Ask them to explain what they mean. Then watch as they stutter and stumble while heat rushes to their cheeks.
The point of bullying is to shame you into hating yourself. They want you to feel small and isolated, so you don’t think you can survive without them, while also making your time in the environment miserable. If you leave, they’ll have nothing else to bond over. So just call it out, hand them their shame back, and remove yourself.
#4. Someone is waiting to meet a person like you.
I was recently told, “You’re the best person I’ve ever met”. And I wanted to cry, ha. Even with my awkwardness, my emotions, and the way I spew my guts in public…people in my life still think I’m cool. And I think they’re cool.
There are books I’ve read that I adore. Easily five-star multiple-read material. But when I check the Goodreads rating, it’s a 3.4! And still…I love the book! I just know that those other readers may have a differing taste.
And sometimes it’s that simple.
#5. You’re allowed to love yourself no matter what.
As much as I lament, please don’t get it twisted. I love myself.
I don’t care if I’m rich or poor. Sad or joyful. Annoying or chill. Even in those times when I feel “alien,” I still love myself! In every season. In every situation. I may struggle with understanding people when they act strangely towards me. But that’s because I love myself so much, I feel genuinely confused by it! I’m just a sexy alien on a boring planet, and that’s why I feel lonely, haha. I’m rare and seeking others like me. 👁️🤸🏾
In all seriousness. You’re allowed to love yourself, even when you’re not where you want to be. Even when you’re not the best version of yourself yet. Even if society tries to pummel you.
#6. Ask for what you want.
The worst you can hear is “no,” which leaves you at the exact same point you started! Even if you don’t get exactly what you ask for, you might leave there with something. So…try!
All year, I’ve asked for assistance. Shares, features, support, etc., and I’ve been surprised by how many kind-hearted people out there are willing to lend a helping hand. Don’t be afraid to be in community with people. And be a helping hand when you can as well.
#7. Create what you want.
Okay, so I’m writing a novel/comic hybrid about a broke musician who sleeps with Death and summons the monster under her bed to help her pay rent. It’s the kind of story that no one would get if I tried to pitch it. So, why try? I can just make it myself!
And if you missed the Kickstarter and would like to secure the exclusive alternate cover (pictured above), you can pre-order here! And because it’s my birthday, here’s a $5 gift. Use code: BIRTHDAYGIFT5
#8. Forgive yourself.
We’re all flawed humans. Process, and let that hurt go.
And that’s it! Or, that’s all I feel like writing right now, ha. If you’d like to help me celebrate my birthday, please share your thoughts about this space in the comments. Or tag photos of my books on social media. Or snatch up an e-book.
Thank you, everyone, for a wonderful year! Here’s to many more years of telling strange stories and normalizing emotional expression.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
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Happy Birthday fellow Sagittarius! 🎉🥳
Of COURSE you are a Sagittarius!!! Happy Belated fellow Archer ♐💕♐💕♐💕 I love your work, your look and your unapologetic approach to life!!!