So, I cried yesterday...

What to do when life feels burdensome.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling…heavy.

I like to joke that I feel like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh—just trudging through life with a little cloud of sadness trailing above me.

Sometimes, it drizzles, and I can plop open a pink umbrella and keep it moving without much fuss. Sometimes, the cloud parts, and I can feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, giving me hope for a great day with clear skies. Then there are times it thunders and storms without reason, and a heavy shower pours, destroying my umbrella and ruining my hair.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I cried and cried, not knowing why, just knowing I wanted the rain to stop. I tried doing things I love. I tried working on little tasks. I tried talking it out. And eventually, I just laid down, letting it wash over me. Luckily, I have an understanding partner who, even though she didn’t entirely know why I was sad to begin with, was willing to be there for me as I let the storm pass.

Life just feels so burdensome sometimes—and not in a “I don’t want to be here” type of way. Over the last year, I’ve realized how much I love life. I love reading stories, laughing with friends, and sending silly memes. I love walking through Target and blissfully sighing as I check out new doll releases, ha. I love spending time with people who understand me. I love writing. I love working on projects and being part of things that are greater than myself. I love God and all the infinite possibilities at our fingertips. But still…every now and then, I feel so overwhelmed.

What a burden it was to breathe and make choices. All day. Every day. With each choice having the capability to completely ruin your future. —Hope, How to Be a Better Adult

I’m always thinking, wondering if I did the “right” thing in every situation. After every phone call. After every decision. I’m ever-conscious of how I hold the expression on my face and the tone of my voice. That, with all the little tasks we have to do day in and day out, all while huge life-changing events happen all around us. Life is a game that requires constant pivoting. Constant juggling. Constant consideration. How can anyone do this gracefully?

The answer is…you can’t. You will stumble. You won’t always do the “right” thing. Sometimes there is no “right” thing. Sometimes, you’ll have to take breaks. Sometimes you’ll have to reflect and apologize. Other times, you’ll have to forgive. There are times when people will be upset with you, and you’ll be upset with people…it happens. No one is perfect.

When life feels burdensome or confusing, when your raincloud pummels you and reminds you of all you have to do, and wild winds scream out the things that you lack or have left behind, just wrap your raincoat tightly, huddle up, and breathe. No storm lasts forever. The rain will always have an end. And no matter what, the sun is always there to remind you of its warmth.

So, if you’re ever like me and find yourself feeling heavy or crying without reason, just know it’s okay. Life is weird. Cry it out. And the next day, try again! Never stop trying.

Thinking of switching things up

So, I mentioned this in my Instragram broadcast channel, but I’m thinking of sharing less about my personal life. I said I’d explain why, but that would just be sharing more of my personal life 😆 and I’m trying to stop feeling like I have to share everything to be understood.

I’m still mulling over everything but I do love writing about emotions. I also know I can provide value by sharing more about my professional journey, as many people have asked me to help in that way. The truth is, though, I’m not really that well-versed in anything. I’m just flopping and floundering and finding my way as I go. I hesitate to be seen as a thought leader in any way because I don’t think I am?

I don’t have any sort of strategy for anything I do. I just…do things. But maybe sharing my flounderings will help.

We’ll see! But this ends today’s ramblings.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Listen to my girly podcast!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life

Read my nerdy self-help book!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life

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