Read this if you feel like your life is out of your control.
Been there, let's step into our transformation era together...
Being human is a weird experience, isn’t it? You’re thrown out to sea without a map, handed a steering wheel without instructions, and expected to navigate shark-infested waters like a seasoned seaman.
Well, I wanted to take the time to assure you that you’re doing alright. Regardless of what any “positive thinking” self-help gurus say, you’re not fully in control of your life. You could be doing just fine, and someone else who’s in their season of hurt could come barreling through your cozy boat, leaving destruction in their wake. That’s not your fault. It’s never your fault. But it does end up being your responsibility to clean up the mess. Unfair? Definitely. But mucking around in the aftermath only hurts you. After three years of being stuck in a horrible depression, I’m definitely speaking from experience here.
But it’s time to clean up house.
So, here are some ways you can take control of the mess you might not have made:
Identify the Things You Can Change
Not everyone has the luxury of changing their environment, but you can change how you cope with it. I’ve personally made a list of triggers—triggering people, places, and things—and I made a plan for how I’d eliminate, distance, or deal with each one.
Sometimes it’s as simple as limiting social media use, or setting your phone to Do Not Disturb during certain hours. Other times it means having hard conversations…or no conversations at all. Sometimes it means making plans to tackle that difficult task you’ve been putting off and breaking it down into more manageable bite-sized bits.
Action Tip: Make a list. What do you want to change? Who in your life is causing you pain? What habits do you have that are affecting your quality of life? And how can you modify how you engage?
Switch Up Your Style
Ok, this is very much early 2000s teen makeover type of advice, buttttt one of the few things we have full control over is what we drape ourselves in on the daily. I’m personally in the middle of my own transformation sequence. I do have a “quirky” style, I guess, but I’ve realized there are pieces I’ve held back on wearing or trying out because they don’t fit how people see me. Life is short, and I don’t want to confine myself to other’s expectations of how I should present. Whenever I do re-enter the world (I’m currently isolating for my sanity 😅) I want to look how I feel. Here’s the actual mood board I created, that I think captures my vibe:
Action Tip: Use Pinterest to make a style mood board and start incorporating new pieces into your wardrobe. Or you can wear old outfits in new ways! I have a board called “new me” where I pin outfits and identify pieces that continually pop up. If a few outfits I like have the same accessory, I’ll buy that accessory!
Allow Yourself to Evolve
People act like the highest measure of mental fortitude is staying exactly the same. Holding the same beliefs, liking the same things, being around the same people, and striving for the same goal. In this long life, where we mature and constantly learn new information about the world and ourselves, it’s not only ok to change…it’s necessary. We’re not meant to be stagnant, letting the mess pile up around us just because it’s familiar. Re-evaluate your life as often as you need to. Forget anyone who shames you for changing. They can stay on their island while you float on to exciting new places. Have grace with yourself as you continue to evolve.
Updates - Please Read:
The final two hardcover book shipments are coming! One batch will be shipped out to readers by the end of next week. The last batch will be sent out in June, due to a worldwide paper shortage. If you want a signed hardcover bundle, there are only 20 pre-order slots left! After this final shipment arrives, I’m not sending out anymore 😆. It’s been a lot, and until I have a helpful system to shorten your wait times, I don’t want to continue taking orders. If you miss out on the hardcover, you can always order a paperback from Amazon or B&N.
I’d love to get my book to 100 honest reviews on Goodreads! If you’ve read it, please leave me a star rating, and let other readers know what you think! If you don’t have Goodreads, check it out on Amazon. I have the same goal there! I want to continue writing weird novels about woeful women, and the more reviews I have, the better it looks for future opportunities. I’m currently writing two more books—at the same time! Wish me luck!
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Listen to my girly podcast!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life
Read my nerdy self-help book!: The Magical Girl’s Guide to Life
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