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Stacey's avatar

Wow, the timing on this one is crazy... because I am someone who tries to put on a mask each day and push through each day. I put that smile on and act silly each day, but each day I feel unbearable pain inside because my depression is just too much....

Yesterday, it got so bad, (I’m very much the person who bottles things up until they explode) that I was in the office at work, and the mask cracked, I broke down in tears scaring and worrying everyone. My supervisor came over as I packed my bag to leave and finish the day at home because I was so embarrassed. He actually talked to me for an hour and a half.. it made me feel guilty but it felt nice that he wanted to listen to me and he felt it was important to listen. He even expressed some things he was going through. So it was a nice talk.

Also my coworker/best friend scheduled a meeting with me at the end of my shift to make sure that I was okay and she talked to me too.

Another coworker made sure I had something to eat because I mentioned I haven’t been eating much and by that point in the day, which was like 3:30 in the afternoon, I had nothing to eat yet.

It made me feel like people cared about me. I’m always a bit skeptical, but I truly felt like people cared about me..

I’m sorry for my ramblings but I just thought the timing of your post was so coincidental that all of this happened yesterday. I appreciate you posting this 💙

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Joy's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I am also one who suffers in silence. This past summer had been incredibly difficult for me. I was going through multiple shifts in life and it was hard for me to regulate my nervous system. I was also VERY terrified of getting fired bc I had experienced that before at a previous workplace.

One day I couldn't hold back my emotions and cried in a co-workers arm. I for sure thought I was going to get fired. The intense emotions were just too much to handle. I search relentlessly trying to find a therapist and it was incredibly difficult. I met with one who flat out told me "I would keep shopping around for another therapists, i'm not sure if I would be the right fit." And hearing this now while in a better state of mind sounds understandable. But at the time those words were almost my 13th reason (I'm just using some mild humor here, but I hope i'm not taking away from how soul crushing it was to hear). Needless to say, I found one that has been good and to anyone reading please know that there is hope ✨ I learned to give myself a whole lot of grace especially during times where it feels almost impossible 🤍

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