For anyone who suffers in silence

Hoping to help

I’ve never been a person who suffered silently. My suffering has always been loud. When I was younger, I was so anxious I’d cry at the drop of a hat. I’d run off stages, cry at parties, and break down in bathrooms at any imminent social threat. Now, as an adult, I still do those things, ha. The only difference is I’ve learned to reflect and share my feelings through my merchandise designs, stories, blog posts, and social media. It’s not always the best way to deal, honestly. But in times when I needed the most help, my openness alerted those around me that I needed assistance. Lately, though, I’ve witnessed the ways that people have been suffering quietly around me.

For some, they throw themselves into work, distracting their mind from any lingering thoughts of sadness. They push forward and push through, pushing any negative emotions to the back of their skull. Others lean on denial. Whatever’s happening can’t be happening. So, they convince themselves that everything is ok. Like they’re casually walking, not seeing the glass door of sorrow they’ll eventually smack into because they convinced themselves it wasn’t there. Some channel their sorrow through bursts of anger. The emotions are so overwhelming, but sitting with them and acknowledging them hurts too much…so they yell. Or they snap. Or they go icy cold, which hurts the people around them. Then there are those who withdraw and isolate because moving through the world becomes heavier with every step. When a person withdraws from their support system, it’s not a good sign.

Why do people suffer in silence?

Because in this capitalistic world, being depressed, being sad, or not being okay is expensive. Financially and socially. When I was at my worst, I quickly tumbled into debt. Hospital bills, weeks and months where I couldn’t work. Couldn’t do homework. Couldn’t push forward. When people know you’re depressed, they think you’ll slow the show down. They rather get rid of you than find ways to support you. And then you can’t even blame them because supporting you could cost them time, money, and resources. It’s the world we live in. So, people not wanting to be burdens, or drains, or be seen as an anchor, will lie, hide, and mask their pain. Pushing through until they snap in one way or the other.

If you’re suffering in silence…

I know those feelings are heavy. I know it’s hard to open up. I know it’s expensive (in many ways) to “seek help” as everyone seems to suggest these days. If you find yourself uncomfortable with being open with the people around you, it’s okay. Here are some things you can do:

• Google “free or affordable mental health services” in the county you live in. There are plenty of affordable resources, they’re just harder to find. Make calls and ask for referrals. The first place you call may not be a fit, but these places tend to know about each other and are happy to refer you.

• Call or text the Crisis Hotline. You can chat about anything you’re struggling with/processing.

• Use Open Counseling to help you find an affordable therapist in your area.

• Talk to people you trust. And let them help you. It’s what community is for.

• Take time off work if you can. Opening up at work can be tricky. I’ve experienced the negative effects of it myself. So, using PTO or expressing that your workload is a bit overwhelming could help.

• If you’re in school, talk to your advisor/professors. Some professors don’t care…but the ones who do are Godsends.

• Don’t feel ashamed to show emotions. We all cry. We all feel sad. We’ve all gone through hard things. You’re not weird. Or weak. You’re human.

Anywho, I had this on my mind this morning. And I hope it’s helpful. The next post will be fun, I promise 💞.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

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